Below are the stories of real people who, too late, learned that abortion devastates everyone it touches.

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Friends & Family

Why do family members and friends often go unnoticed when discussing the impact of abortion? Perhaps it is because the pro-choice movement has told them that their feelings are irrelevant; or maybe friends and family are often unsure how to discuss it. However, this group can be deeply affected by the abortion, even if they only found out about it years later. Georgette Forney, co-founder of Silent No More, stated that: “It is a trauma. It’s life-changing, and not only for the woman herself, but for people around her.” 60

Janet Morana, also a co-founder of Silent No More, added: “We have to not be afraid to talk about this among ourselves. I’m telling you now that if you know someone who is a grandparent who lost a grandchild to abortion, that we need healing, too. Know that hope and healing is available. Know that it’s OK to talk about… And I’m going to be, from this point forward, Silent No More about losing my grandchildren to abortion.” 60 In an effort to raise awareness about their struggle and to promote healing, Priests For Life has launched a new campaign called “Abortion Shockwaves.” Below are quotes from real people who have been deeply affected by a loved one’s abortion, and in some cases, an abortion they helped procure or convinced the woman she should get.

I think of that lost grandchild every day.

“I believed that if it was legal, it was okay. I drove my daughter (figuratively and literally) to an abortion. To this day I think with regret of what I did. My daughter and I drove home in silence that day and we have never mentioned it since, but I saw the mental pain and suffering it caused her… After converting to the Catholic Church, the feeling of horror of what I had done was overwhelming. Through the sacrament of reconciliation, I know that God has forgiven me, but one of his children is missing because of me. I think of that lost grandchild every day. I pray that parents of an unmarried or teenage daughter who becomes pregnant does not make the mistake I will always regret! There are other choices.”
Cheryl 61

Every day I mourn for that child.

“…My ex was pregnant by rape. I agreed to raise the child as my own and to stay with her for the rest of my life. But my child is dead, not by miscarriage or accident, but by murder. Some doctor killed my son or my daughter… I don’t understand why she did it… There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t wonder what the child would have been, boy or girl. I always wonder what it would have
looked like, how it would have acted. Every day I wonder, and it only makes me more depressed. Every day I mourn for that child…”
Justin 62

For all these years I have lived with the guilt of not stopping my sister from having her abortion.

“My sister and I were both pregnant (in our teens) at the same time. I gave birth to my baby and my sister aborted. The night before her scheduled abortion, she told me of her plan to abort and asked me to go with her to support her. I said no and so her best friend drove her…

For all these years I have lived with the guilt of not stopping my sister from having her abortion. I didn’t try to talk her out of it. While I wouldn’t go with her to the clinic where she aborted her baby, I also didn’t tell her to not go. I didn’t help her see her options and encourage her. I didn’t try to tell her why it was wrong. I didn’t reassure her that I would help her and we could do it together. I didn’t convince her that our mom and dad would love her baby like they would mine. We both had a loving home to raise our babies in.

I still grieve over the loss of my nephew or niece. I grieve that my sister didn’t have the joy of knowing her baby and raising him or her. I grieve that mom and dad didn’t get to know their first-born grandchild. I grieve that my son didn’t grow up playing with his cousin. In the years since, I have observed my sister’s hidden grief manifest in denial, guilt, low self-esteem, feelings or rejection and abandonment, promiscuity, strained family relationships, fear of relationship commitment.”
Lara 63

To all the parents out there, please, please don’t allow your daughter to have this barbaric procedure done.

“I am a 53-year-old woman who allowed her daughter to have an abortion at 16 weeks. She was secretly seeing a boy we did not approve of nor like. I took her to the doctor and found out she was 16 weeks pregnant. She cried, I cried. My husband was livid when we told him. We bought into the hype – ‘she’s too young, it was date rape, she’ll regret having this baby’ and agreed to an abortion… I put on the ‘I’m a big liberated woman face’ and told her it would be OK. IT WAS NOT OK. I had seen my grandchild on the ultrasound, knew it was a girl and still let her have the abortion.

The guilt from this has nearly ruined our lives. She has suffered a nervous breakdown as I have… I often think what my beautiful granddaughter would’ve have looked like, now, at 16. I am a Christian and regret letting her do this. I pray every day God will forgive me. It has taken it’s toll. To all the parents out there, please, please don’t allow your daughter to have this barbaric procedure done. I hope God has mercy on my soul.”
Anonymous Mother 64

An accomplice to murder, that’s what I am.

“An accomplice to murder, that’s what I am… Not just once but three times. In my teenage years I was the “go-to” man for just about anything. I knew where the party was, the dope, the fun, and unfortunately, the abortion.

The first was one my best friend’s girlfriend. She’d gotten pregnant and they both knew they did not want the baby… As any good friend would do, I found out where that place would be, how to pay, made the appointment, and even drove them to the clinic… I remember going there and seeing the place, it wasn’t scary or ugly but I knew (even then) that something was not right about that place, it just seemed dark and well evil. I spoke with the girlfriend some 20 years later about that day. She was scarred and yet had come to peace with it as she had resolved her life by surrendering it to Jesus. She discussed her difficult years and I apologized for my part. The main thing is that we were both scarred, her more than me but nonetheless we both carried the scars of that decision…

The third came about another year later. This time, it was my sister. Our parents knew and knew what they wanted. I volunteered my services and all was set-up. It was the same place as the other two and like the first, I was the driver and point person. After the abortion my sister lay in the back seat weeping and wondering if she’d ever be forgiven for killing a baby… She wept and wept and wept… My sister had a tough recovery as she bled a lot and cried a lot… Somehow, we all made it through that dark moment. We never really talked about it. It was all dealt with in sublime gestures and “looks” between each other. We knew we’d done wrong and our way of dealing with it was with unspoken gestures, hugs, and silence…

I began to ponder these times in my life. After careful consideration of the evidence and I knew I was just as guilty of murder as the three that had them. While I know I have been forgiven and forgiveness is readily available to my friends and family, I (like them) have to live with the memories and believe me, they are real.”
Anonymous Friend and Brother 67

For years, I have struggled with the guilt and shame about my involvement in my sister’s abortion.

“Twenty-five years ago, my sister came to me for advice. She was young, unmarried, tearful, and pregnant. She wanted to know what she should do. I love my sister very much and I cared about her and her “problem.” I wanted her to be happy. In my mind, her only option was abortion. I never considered offering to help raise her child or helping her through an adoption. I was smug, self-righteous and convinced that I was right…

I went with her to the abortion clinic. I never thought of the baby in terms of being a person. I never thought of the baby as my own niece or nephew. It never entered my mind that she would suffer the emotional effects of abortion for the rest of her life… I used to believe that it was a woman’s choice to do what she wanted to do with her own body because it was her body and nobody’s business. If asked, I would proudly say that I was pro-choice. It never occurred to me that the tiny person being nurtured in their mother’s womb was not given a choice.
(20 years later) As I nurtured my relationship with God, I realized that my advice to my sister to have an abortion was wrong… I realized that her child was my niece or my nephew. I cried. I mourned for this child that I would never meet, this child who would never be my son’s older cousin. This child who was our mother and father’s first grandchild. For years, I have struggled with the guilt and shame about my involvement in my sister’s abortion. My heart has ached for this child…. As I write this, I hold back my tears. My throat aches to cry out. I hurt to my very soul. I love this child so very much.

God heals old wounds even when they feel new. Through the Sacrament of Reconciliation, I received forgiveness and I know that I must accept God’s forgiveness… I want very much to meet my niece or nephew in heaven and apologize that I helped take their earthly life away… I regret my advice to my sister to have an abortion.”
Margaret 66

I carry guilt from that day too.

“I never really spoke about it (my abortion) with anyone, until a friend of mine got pregnant out of wedlock with a very bi-polar, physically abusive boyfriend. I tried to encourage her to have her baby, and let her know I’d be there to help her in any way I could. But her boyfriend didn’t want her to have their child and basically let her know he wouldn’t be there whatsoever for her if she decided to keep that baby, so she decided she was going to have an abortion. I thought I was being a good friend in standing by her decision, so I offered to take her and pick her up and care for her. Which I did. I do carry guilt from that day, too. Who knows; if I would have persuaded her more, maybe her child would be here today.”
Ashlee 65

I was two weeks away from turning 13 years old when my mom told me that she had had an abortion.

“On January 8th, 2014, I was two weeks away from turning 13 years old. My mom told me that she had had an abortion. We were at church, and we were driving my younger siblings off to Faith Formation. I had absolutely no idea about this abortion. I was shocked. I felt angry, sad. I felt guilty for every time I had said that I’d wanted a brother, an older brother or sister…”
Zoe 68

I was hurt and felt betrayed. My grandchild was gone and my fears were confirmed.

“I share my story with you, with my daughter’s permission, because I want you to know the perspective of grandparents… I was doing laundry, and this voice came into my head, ‘Connie is having an abortion.’ I told myself. ‘My daughter would not do that.’ Yet the thought, or “voice,” continued to haunt me… When she came home later in the day, I recognized an undistinguished coldness on her part. I couldn’t determine the cause of this strange emotion but it was very obvious to my mother’s heart that she was in pain. She was cordial and acted friendly but I wasn’t convinced. I tried to push off the message of the “voice” but my heart was still concerned.

The next weekend her boyfriend went to Colorado and she spent the time in her room curled up in a fetal position crying. She wouldn’t come out and she would not talk to me. When I tried to approach her she gave me an angry reply — ‘You wouldn’t understand, leave me alone.’ Rejected, I left her alone… I struggled with the “voice” that kept raising the abortion prospect because I was too afraid to bring it up or ask her directly. As a result, the wall between us grew stronger. Four months later, I went to my daughter’s room… I was not prepared for what I found. It was a prescription bottle for pain medication from a well-known abortionist in my city…

I went to the abortion clinic where my grandchild had died. Outside, on my knees, I wailed out loud in pain! A young man came up to me and asked if I would like some help. He said he could send me someplace where I could talk to someone. I said, ‘You don’t understand, I am the person that you send folks to. I couldn’t stop my own daughter from getting an abortion, what makes you think anyone could help me?’ That young man prayed for me… He will never know how much that meant to me, nor the strength I gained from his prayer.

I drove to the high school and insisted they page my daughter… When she finally came to the office fear was written all over her face. As soon as we were in the car I asked her if she had had an abortion. ‘You know the answer to that!’ she responded. To this day I am ashamed at my next response. I hit her arm with my fist saying, ‘How could you kill your own child! How could you do this!’ We went home and cried together. Then we yelled at each other and wept again. She asked for my forgiveness and told me how sorry she was… All I could say was I was sorry too — sorry that a child was gone. I was hurt and felt betrayed. My grandchild was gone and my fears were confirmed. My head was spinning with “what ifs?” They were immature and young, trying to make life decisions all alone on matters that they had no knowledge about. They could not begin to understand all of the life-long affects this one decision would have on their lives and the lives of others.
Karen 74

Never will I encourage abortion over adoption again.

“A few years ago I was working as an outreach worker in Vancouver, BC, Canada. One of my clients asked me to go with her while she got an abortion. The operation is free in Van, so we made the appointment and went… When her name was called we went in together… I sat holding my girls hand wondering how I ever thought that this was not going to affect me. On the contrary, I knew instantly when the wee life was snuffed out. I felt it. I was shamed to think I had condoned this. My friend recovered and I drove her back to her shelter. I actually avoided this poor soul for two days. I was worried she want me to tell her it was alright, but it wasn’t. I’ve totally changed my stand on this …Never will I encourage abortion over adoption again. There is a better way.
Allie 71

For us siblings, it also hurts.

“I remember we were picking up my older sister from a high school football game and while we waited for her in the in the car my mom then told me about her abortion. It hurt me so much when she told me. It all made sense… That desperate feeling and need for an older brother was because I actually had one, but he was gone. It hurt so much knowing it. For us siblings, it also hurts. An abortion will affect everybody around you. After all, I do forgive my parents for taking the life of my brother. I love them so much although they made that choice and I love my brother although I don’t personally know him.”
Abril 70

I have been surprised at how much this news hurt and for how long.

“My mom was single and already had a five-year-old daughter at age 22. She was embarrassed by another pregnancy and, at the time, thought of the pregnancy as just “a clump of cells.” 28 years and, in 2004, she felt very different about her baby. She went to post abortion counseling, told her family, and now knows God’s forgiveness. Knowing I was pro-life, she was worried that I would hate her for the abortion, but for me it was confirmation that it isn’t something you just “get over.” My mom, who defended abortion “choice” for years and buried her feelings of guilt and regret, couldn’t live with the secret any longer. She is now pro-life and has spoken about her experience at gatherings in her community.

Frankly, I have been surprised at how much this news hurt and for how long because I would never have expected to miss someone so much that I never even knew. It has made me determined to keep her memory alive helping others understand how much this is not just one woman’s choice, but that it affects so many others for a lifetime.”
Kelli 69

Knowing that three of my cousins were aborted and Sean was almost aborted hurts me deeply.

“I was 12 years old when I found out my aunt had tried to abort my cousin, Sean, who is now 5 years old. I was devastated, but the news I heard next was even worse. I learned she had already aborted three previous children who would have been my beautiful cousins. The only reason she did not abort Sean was because every time she went to the doctor for a pregnancy test, it did not show that she was pregnant. By the time she found out she really was pregnant, our state would not allow for the abortion, and she decided she didn’t want to travel to another state for the abortion. I stand against abortion. Knowing that three of my cousins were aborted and Sean was almost aborted hurts me deeply. So, girls, know that when you abort, it affects everyone, not just you and your child.”
Breanna 73

I still cry about it. I have not been able to forgive myself for what I have done.

“… a friend of mine got pregnant. She knew that the father would have nothing to do with the baby and she could not afford to be a single mother… She matter-of-factly said she would get an abortion. I don’t even know how far along she was. At the time, and I say this with such utter heartache as a conscious, devout Catholic, I did not even blink an eye. I said, ‘Okay, I’ll drive you there.’

I don’t recall why I stayed in the car. I did not even go into the clinic with her. I remember that afterward she walked out, got in the car, and said she didn’t feel well, that she just wanted to lie down. So I dropped her off at her apartment… We never talked about her abortion again. I recall now how cold-hearted I was about the entire event. I treated it, and she did as well, like she just went to the doctor to be treated for a cold or a migraine.

That day haunts me as I am devoted now to my faith… How could I stray so far away from God? How did I become so lost and soulless and selfish and vacant? I have since confessed my sin… I still cry about it. I have not been able to forgive myself for what I have done, and that’s probably even worse because God has forgiven me so I should be able to forgive myself.”
Coleen 75

I took away a life and caused much suffering.

“There is a woman… she became pregnant with a married man and I strongly encouraged her to have an abortion. She didn’t want an abortion. She was very hesitant, but I bullied her into it. I truly didn’t believe that there was a baby existing in her yet. I thought that a baby only became live when it exited a woman’s womb and it took it’s first breath of air. I believed that the only thing that existed in her body was a group of non live cells. My thoughts were that it would be a great burden for this young woman to keep the child. I argued that it was best for the baby for many reasons…

The young woman did have the abortion and to add insult to injury, when this young woman came home from having the abortion depressed and in physical pain, I scoffed at her – I more or less told her to ‘Get over herself.’ How CRUEL, COLD HEARTED and MEAN could that be?

I want to tell her that it’s MY FAULT she had an abortion! She wouldn’t have went ahead with it if I hadn’t have strongly argued her into it. I killed her baby! I’m so so so sorry. . . but they are such meager words? They can’t take away the pain or bring her baby back… I took away a life and caused much suffering.
Jeanny 77

I wish it had been a happy ending for all involved. But in the end, my grandchild was aborted.

“My 16 year old son’s girlfriend (was) pregnant… Her mom was upset, but has an open mind like me with regards to teenage pregnancy… We’ve (myself, her mother and my son) discussed all options, from joint custody, to my son raising it (with my help) on his own if she didn’t want anything to do with it. My son feels like his heart is being ripped out… He told me in tears that he knows its gonna kill him knowing what… happen(ed) to his baby, but he want(ed) to see his baby and see it’s heart beating.

My family doesn’t believe in abortion. Her own mother had 2 abortions and told her about the guilt she’s lived with her entire life from having the abortions. This baby (was) wanted and (would have been) cared for… Her only concern was ‘I don’t want to get all FAT!!!’ and ‘I don’t want the kids at school to call me a whore.’ We’ve given her options around that too, but she just (didn’t) want it…

I wish it had been a happy ending for all involved. But in the end, my grandchild was aborted. She took the abortion pill… it may have been “her” body but it was my SON’s child she killed… The clinic… (wouldn’t) even permit my son to see the baby on ultrasound. It’s been a tough weekend… I’m putting my Christmas tree up this week and will be going to Hallmark for a “special” ornament in memory of my first grand child.
Anonymous Grandmother of An Aborted Baby 76

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Marla’s Mom Speaks Out

When Marla Cardamone died from a “safe and legal” abortion, Deborah Cardamone vowed to let the world know how a “safe and legal” abortion killed her daughter and just walked away…

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