Below are the stories of real people who, too late, learned that abortion devastates everyone it touches.

Clinic Workers

Friends & Family


The sad fact is that on either side of the abortion issue, men are usually forgotten. The pro-choice lobby claims that men have no right to have an opinion on abortion and are known for their favorite phrase, “no uterus, no opinion!” The hypocrisy is that these same people never tell men who support abortion to keep quiet. They also don’t seem to mind that the overwhelming majority of abortionists are men, and they never say anything about the male “escorts” outside the clinics. Evidently the only men these people want censored are those who think women deserve better than abortion.

Additionally, numerous studies and research have proven that abortion is not empowering for women, however, fewer studies have been done on the effects of abortion on the fathers’ of these children. In more recent years, researchers have begun to fill this gap and study the true effect abortion has on men. What we have learned from this research is that these men typically experience, “grief, guilt, depression, anxiety, feelings of repressed emotions, helplessness/voicelessness/powerlessness, post-traumatic stress, anger and relationship problems.” 29 Research has also found that some men may grieve over the loss of the baby longer than the mother.

Which begs the question, If abortion has such a negative effect on men, why have they stayed quiet?

In an article called “The Hollow Men” by Vincent M. Rue, he states: “Psychological injury in men following abortion is likely underestimated due to men’s propensity to avoid self-disclosure… When men do express their grief, they tend to do so in culturally prescribed “masculine” ways, i.e., anger, aggressiveness, silence, control. Men typically grieve following an abortion in a private way. Because of this, men’s requests for help may often go unrecognized and unheeded by those around them.” 32

Below are quotes from men brave enough to speak out about how abortion has truly affected them.
Some of the men have chosen to remain anonymous.

My inability to protect those I was entrusted to care for created a domino effect of bad choices.

“As I sat there in the waiting room, I could hear crying and saw women come out with tears running down their faces. This scared me because I was told ‘this was just a small procedure and it wouldn’t hurt Kelly or the tissue at all.’ In my heart, I knew this was a baby, not tissue. When Kelly came out, she was groggy and looked to be in a lot of pain, which made me furious about the lies we had been told. As we drove home, neither of us said a thing. We sat in silence as I contemplated our decision. Sadly, because of my inability to be a man, I put it all aside and we went on with our relationship.

Kelly and I eventually got married, but many years after the abortions I realized I was in pain. My inability to protect those I was entrusted to care for created a domino effect of bad choices…I was a broken man with a broken wife, two children in heaven, and was trying to pick up the pieces of what my indifference had done…The healing process made me realize that I was meant to be a Daddy to those two children and that my silence never allowed me to be that for them…”
Matt 35

I was a coward who preyed upon someone else to make my own life easier.

“Twenty years ago, I helped pay for my girlfriend’s abortion. My immediate reaction to her news was it was an inconvenience that must be eliminated. I never stopped to think about what I was doing. I never considered that a real life was inside her that I had helped create. I simply thought the doctor was removing some unwanted tissue…

She never wanted to do it. She wanted to keep the baby. It was my forcefulness that finally led her to do what she didn’t want
to do… Years later I faced the truth. I had selfishly destroyed a human life because I didn’t want to be inconvenienced… I came face-to-face with who I really was – a coward who preyed upon someone else to make my own life easier…

My rude awakening was “male post-abortion syndrome,” a flood of guilt, confusion, and denial that often follows an abortion. Post-abortion syndrome is typically associated with mothers of aborted children, but I’m one of the thousands of abortion fathers who have also gone through this ordeal.”
Steve 34

My precious baby was aborted without me knowing.

“My precious baby was aborted without me knowing… She had the abortion in August and told me in September what she had done, because we were trying to work things out. I was devastated. I’m now in therapy and taking antidepressant drugs. Abortion affects the fathers too. No one talks about that.”
Anonymous 33

I’ve never been so wrong in my entire life.

“Five years ago I paid for an abortion and convinced my ex to get one. By choosing the RU-486 option, it felt like we were catching it early enough and it wasn’t really an abortion. I was naïve enough to believe the lie they told me over the phone when I called to get some info, that it was only a “glob of cells.” I sat in the waiting room with a guilt-free conscience. I’ve never been so wrong in my entire life…”
Will 36

Hardly a day goes by that I don’t shudder and almost weep again for the murder I helped to bring about.

“I think I have been far more in touch with my grief and deep sorrow for the life I helped to end. I think of my child that will never be on earth. I hate the self-deception and the falsehood I bought into. The pseudo – “enlightened” argument I groped for has actually proven to be the DARKEST moment of my life, filling me with unending ache and remorse.

Hardly a day goes by that I don’t shudder and almost weep again for the murder I helped to bring about. Quite often I even wake up in the morning thinking painfully of the undeniably selfish act I did over 11 years ago – STILL! I know I overrode in my core being my conscience (dulled at the time) and my Fatherhood instinct. No two ways about it: I acted – no, I was a coward…

I would do anything (if God would accept the bargain) to reverse that fateful mistake. In all sincerity, I would ask God to take my life now in order to restore my unborn child’s life on earth. Even though assured of God’s forgiveness, I am still trying to forgive myself.”
Anonymous 37

When my girlfriend returned from the abortion clinic, all I knew was I was still a father but the baby was gone.

“… a simple medical procedure that had removed a clump of tissue that wasn’t human… no big deal. Oh how I desperately wanted to believe that. It had been such a helpful solution to a very difficult situation I had created for myself, and it wasn’t even my idea… I caved in hoping they were right… but when my girlfriend returned from the abortion clinic all I knew was I was still a father but the baby was gone.

I tried to believe the doctor was right, i.e. an abortion would fix the problem, but the dead feeling inside of me of loss and grief told me otherwise. The guilt and shame I was feeling told me otherwise. The loss of self esteem and the birth of self hatred told me otherwise. The realization that what we had done was wrong, that the abortion had not fixed the problem but in fact had created way more left me in a state of trying to rationalize that the abortion was okay for a long time. The fear of facing the truth of what we had done and the shame, guilt, grief and loss that accompanied that potential awareness, kept me silent too.”
Scott 44

I feel like a murderer.

“When the abortion was performed I was out of town on business, too. I made sure of that. Whatever physical, emotional and spiritual agony the woman suffered, I was not by her side to support her. I turned my face away… I’ve come to believe that it was a boy, a son whom I wanted killed because, at the time his existence would have inconvenienced me… His name, which is carved on my heart, was Thomas.

My feelings of responsibility and guilt are undiminished by the fact that the woman had full legal authority to make the decision on her own, either way, without consulting me or even informing me. In fact, she consulted in an open fashion, reflecting our shared responsibility and I could have made a strong case for having the child. Instead, I urged her along the path of death. And skipped town. I feel like a murderer, which isn’t to say that I blame anyone else, or think anyone else is a murderer. It’s just the way I feel and all the rationalizations in the world haven’t changed this. I still grieve for little Thomas…”
Phil 38

I put my head up against a building and began to cry, the first time I had cried in public since I was twelve years old.

“I shall never know in this life whether my child was a boy or a girl. My former girlfriend, the mother of my child, the woman I loved and still love, only told me a number of weeks later that she had been pregnant and that she had had an abortion… I was on a busy street but I put my head up against a building and began to cry, the first time I had cried in public since I was twelve years old…”
Anonymous 40

I’m so sorry, and she will never forgive me.

“I was a father of the aborted child. I was obsessed with jealousy. I thought that my wife cheated with someone else and that the child was not mine. I forced her psychologically to abort. I’m so sorry, and she will never forgive me. Lord, please forgive me.”
Stan 39

I regret it every day.

“I am a 54-year-old male. My girlfriend and I had an abortion at age 17. Our child would be 37-years-old. I regret it every day. Strange, I love life so much but was so selfish to kill him. I have no children and now never will have that gift to give again.”
Anonymous 42

My mantra became ‘Save one, or save none.’

“We were faced with the news of triplets… I was prepared to do whatever I needed to do to help, manage, and provide. My wife… insisted that we do a “selective reduction” from three to one, or else she would have a full abortion.  She was adamant. I was presented with a Coventry-esque decision: save one, or save none.  I chose the former, though I tried on several occasions to convince her to at least keep twins.  I failed… They would inject potassium chloride into the placenta to stop the hearts.  We were told, point-blank, that it was painless.  Even then, I knew I was being lied to, but given the choice presented, I agreed anyway.  My mantra became ‘Save one, or save none.’

My wife didn’t look, but I had to. I had to know what would happen to my children. I had to know how they would die. Each retreated, pushing away, as the needle entered the amniotic sac. They did not inject into the placenta, but directly into each child’s torso. Each one crumpled as the needle pierced the body. I saw the heart stop in the first, and mine almost did, too. The other’s heart fought, but ten minutes later they looked again, and it too had ceased. The doctors had the gall to call the potassium chloride, the chemical that stopped children’s hearts, “medicine.” I wanted to ask what they were trying cure — life? But bitter words would not undo what had happened. I swallowed anything I might have said… But that emotional scar will ache my whole life…

I wept in joy, a few years ago, when I saw my first child’s heartbeat on the screen. And I weep in agony now at the memory of two of my children’s heartbeats being stilled. ‘Save one, or save none’ has been eclipsed by ‘Out, out, damned spot!’ as I wonder how I can redeem myself.”
Anonymous 46

I was told that she had a miscarriage. I was lied to.

“At first I did not feel I should wear this pin (Regret Lost Fatherhood) or tote this sign (Lost Fatherhood)! I mean… why should I? I didn’t have the abortion! I didn’t tell HER to have one! I wanted to have a baby! I was told that she had a miscarriage. My baby was gone! Four years later, the truth was revealed. She made a choice and she chose DEATH! I was lied to. I felt betrayed. I was torn. How could I love this woman who KILLED my baby! The truth was… I couldn’t!! We tried to make it work, but every time we fought, I would call her names like, Baby Killer or Murderer! Our relationship ended. I withdrew from life and became depressed.”
Richard 41

I feel empty – as if a part of me is missing.

“One evening she told me in two simple words, ‘It’s done.’ Despite the fact that I would have raised the child with or without her, I couldn’t choose to be a father. I don’t think a single day has passed where I haven’t prayed and I’ve cried about it, but nothing is going to change. The one thing that I thought would become the greatest joy in life has become the greatest pain. It hurts more than words could ever describe. I feel empty – as if a part of me is missing. And I felt helpless – because there was nothing I could do about it – because she went and had the abortion without me, even knowing that I wanted to be there for this child.”
Adam 43

I will never, ever forgive myself for making a decision to take my unborn child’s life away.

“I used to hear about abortion all the time, and I said I would never do such a thing. Then I was faced with an unplanned pregnancy at 25—with a minimum-wage job and girlfriend still in her junior year of college. We made the decision, and in a matter of hours we aborted the baby at a nearby clinic… This abortion is going to be my biggest regret until the day I die. I will never, ever forgive myself for making a decision to take my unborn child’s life away.

Whether you are right or left-wing, we all know in the back of our minds and in our hearts that taking life away is crude—whether the government says you can do it or not. I can’t believe I fell for the lies regarding abortion. I pray to my baby every single day, hoping he or she forgives me and hoping that he or she is in a better place.”
Anonymous 45

Today, I would do anything to have had the courage to say no.

“39 years ago, I participated in the abortion of my son. When at age 17, I learned that my girlfriend was pregnant, we were stunned and things happened very quickly. I should have been responsible enough to know better, to protect my unborn son in his mother from a horrible, misguided, and irreversible choice. Today, I would do anything to have that choice back, to have had the courage to say no. Instead, I said nothing. I was afraid, timid, and complicit by my silence. Deep down inside, I knew the truth, this was our baby, but no, I said nothing. I did nothing but accompany her along with her mother to Planned Parenthood to destroy our child. During the procedure, I felt numb and helpless, but for this monumental failure as a father I accept full responsibility… I want to tell all men who have participated in an abortion or had their children aborted against their will, to let your heart out of prison that help and healing is available.”
Chuck 48

A life my be the cost of your blindness.

“Men, be aware of the consequences of your actions-including your faith in your
“love” with the person of your dreams. A life my be the cost of your blindness,
and you may be the only one of the two who suffers regret from the abortion.”
Anonymous 54

To this day, I still feel regret – tremendous, unrelenting regret.

“I passed the decision off to my girlfriend, and her friend gave her the money for the abortion. To this day, I still feel regret – tremendous, unrelenting regret. What if I had been man enough to take responsibility?”
Anonymous 49

I will never get to hold my little girl.

“She (my girlfriend) and I did end up making love, and about three weeks after that she broke up with me… I saw her at a high school football game about two months after that. I went up to her and gave her a hug, and she said she needed to talk to me. So we went and sat down, and she told me that she broke up with me because she was pregnant with my baby. I was shocked but happy. Then she said that it would have been a little girl. I looked at her dazed and confused and asked her would have been? She said yes, it would have been, but she had an abortion.

I didn’t know what to do, so I broke down and cried. She rubbed my back and said it will be OK and that it was for the best. I looked at her and said there was no way that this was for the best. I told her I would never be able to look at her the same again. I asked her how she could do this to me. How could she do that to our baby? She looked at me and said that this guy she is now dating told her to. I asked her how she could do that. How could she let some other guy talk her into killing our baby? She said she was sorry. I told her that was not good enough. Sorry is not going to bring our baby back.

I started crying again and said I will never get to hold my little girl. I will never get to see her beautiful face. I will never get to tuck her into bed. I will never get to see her grow up… I don’t even have a grave that I can go to and lay flowers upon. She broke my heart…”
Joshua 50

My life has tragically turned into a continual replay of events that destroyed who I was and whom I used to know.

“I allowed myself to be influenced and manipulated by my ex-girlfriend, who aborted both of our children. It was for the despicable, mere fact that they were going to get in her way. We had both said after the first abortion that this was never an option again, but yet abortion was one of the first words out of her mouth the next time. What do you say when the woman you love more than life itself tells you her life is over due to our pregnancy? Let me tell you, I still do not have a clue… I have not been the same man since.

My life has tragically turned into a continual replay of events that destroyed who I was and whom I used to know. Immediately afterward, I experienced a great sense of loss, confusion, humiliation, and regret. To top it all, I was not allowed to mention a feeling or thought to my partner. I lived with holding in every emotion I’ve ever had for twelve years… I lived guarded in the protective walls I emotionally built…

When the relationship started to fall apart many years later, I experienced an overpowering flood of emotions. They were so powerful that I completely lost control of myself and I fell into a severe depression. I attempted to take my life. Two and a half years later, I have still been unable to move forward in my life. I experience daily nightmares, drink heavily, and have not even been able to think of a new relationship. I am desperately looking for forgiveness from God and for healing to this day. I can’t live as I am anymore, feeling so dead inside.”
Tim 51

I sat like a coward in the waiting room while our child was sucked from the womb, in pieces.

“Bottom line, when I was supposed to be the protector and defender of the young woman who would later become my wife. I chose instead to insist on the abortion and sat like a coward in the waiting room while our child was sucked from the womb, in pieces. Though I have many excuses for doing what I did… in the end, that is all they are…excuses. This event would become a major negative undercurrent in our marriage for many years, about 15 to be exact. I can only wish there had been caring people on the sidewalk that day to show us that there was another option. I’m sure that seeing the truth up front and personal would’ve made me angry, but I’d like to believe that even my conscience, as compromised as it was, would have been pierced by the truth and the reality of what would happen only minutes later. I thank God for sidewalk counselors today.”
Anonymous 52

My heart was broken.

“I’ll never forget the day — a friend came running in and said, ‘Jones, your girlfriend’s on the phone and she’s crying.’ So I ran out, knowing that I wasn’t supposed to leave my station or answer the phone. But I picked it up, and she was crying, as I have never heard a woman cry before. Ever. The only way that I can explain it is that her soul was crying. And she kept saying over and over and over again, ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It wasn’t me.’ And then her father said, ‘Jason,’ over the other line, ‘I know your secret, and your secret’s gone. She had an abortion.’

As soon as he’d said that word, a sergeant reached over my shoulder and hung up the phone. So I punched him. Another drill sergeant grabbed me, but he saw that I was crying, just saying over and over again, ‘He killed my baby! He killed my baby!’ My captain must have been pro-life, maybe a Christian, because he soberly and sympathetically gave me a Sparks Notes version of Roe v. Wade. Then he handed me a roll of quarters for the phone and said, ‘I want you to go to the PX; I can’t have you disturbing the whole battalion.’

I walked to the PX, hearing again the sound of my girlfriend sobbing, feeling our loss in my gut. The thought of that baby had kept me going, every grueling day of basic training. My heart was broken…”
Scott 44

My hands were tied. I, as a father, had no legal right to protect my child from a death committed by a “doctor.”

“In October of 2006, I found out I was going to be a father for the first time. Neither of us planned this pregnancy, or had even talked about the possibility of getting pregnant…The nurse at Boston College told her that she would be better off having an abortion, and told her where she could get one. I didn’t make a big deal of it at the time because I wanted her to stay calm and positive. I brought her to a crisis pregnancy center in Boston when she was five-weeks pregnant, so that she could explore her options other than having an abortion. The women at the center set up a date for her to get an ultrasound so she could see her child.

During the ultrasound, I saw and heard my child’s heart beat and I cried. It was a very overwhelming and beautiful experience for me, until she looked over at me and said: ‘What are you crying about? Worms have heartbeats too.’ My girlfriend said to me, ‘I don’t want our child to end up like you,’ and I said, ‘What about me?’ She said, ‘You shake a lot and have trouble in school.’ That broke my heart to hear that because of all the progress I have made over the years, and the fact that she would put conditions on her love for her child and that the condition of her baby would change whether she wanted her baby to live or not… before I was born I developed hydrocephalus which is fluid on the brain… My parents were told by the doctor that I would be born deaf, blind, developmentally delayed or dead… I had to go through speech therapy, therapy to regain balance, and had learning disabilities in school… I didn’t have any of the conditions that they said I would have which I am grateful for. What if I did though? Would my life be any less valuable? Would I be any less of a human being? Of course not… She insisted she was going to get the abortion, was planning to get one that weekend, and broke up with me right before.

I called the abortion clinic and asked what my rights were; they said ‘You don’t have any, and don’t call back.’ I then asked them, ‘What do you do with the aborted babies? I want to bury my child.’ They told me that it wasn’t a child, it was a fetus, and to never call again or they would involve the police, and if I showed up on Saturday to try to stop my girlfriend from having an abortion, they would have me arrested. My hands were tied. I, as a father, had no legal right to protect my child from a death committed by a “doctor.” I called everyone imaginable to see what my rights were and I got the same answer: “Nothing.”

I went to try one more time to ask the mother of my child to not do this. But she was adamant about having an abortion and told me to leave. So I then asked her if I could do one last thing before I left… I then got on my knees and kissed the stomach of the mother of my child and said, ‘I love you, and Daddy will see you in heaven.’ I then took the ultrasound pictures and left. I was informed that my child had been aborted in the afternoon on December 2, 2006. It was the most painful experience I have ever been through… I didn’t want to go on; I was in too much pain. I didn’t eat. I didn’t sleep. I had nightmares of my child being aborted… thoughts of suicide filled my head every waking hour.”
Theo 53

She confirmed my worst fear.

“I married a friend of mine. She became pregnant. I was so happy; I can still remember the exact spot I was at when she told me over the phone… I went to my wife’s work after I got off work to give her flowers. She was not there. They said she had a medical emergency. I wondered why she would not call me. I called every hospital in the two county area but could not find her. That should have been a huge clue to me. I thought about checking out the abortion clinics, but I thought she would never do that to me… A few weeks later she confirmed my worst fear. She had murdered my baby in cold blood and lied about it for 6 months… I now am crying my eyes out for my murdered baby…”
Anonymous 47

I prayed and begged her to change her mind, but I couldn’t.

“For a few weeks all was well. Then one day she changed her mind and my heart was broken. I prayed and begged her to change her mind, but I couldn’t. Why is it that it takes a man and a woman to make a baby but only one of them has a choice? Take it from a guy who would have done anything to hold his baby just one time…”
Anonymous 56

Our silence is a critical way that our culture marginalizes the tragedy of abortion as a “women’s issue.”

“When I was in High School and College I bought into the worldly idea that a man is measured by his sexual activity. Therefore, intimacy with a woman became a conquest for me… by the time I was 21, I had fathered three children. And, in every case, paid doctors to end the life of my unborn children. And I didn’t even realize that it was wrong.

In fact, I felt that I doing the manly thing to pay for the abortions. After all, it wasn’t really my responsibility. It was the woman’s job to keep from getting pregnant, right? Such was the depth of my depravity… It was my responsibility to provide for and protect them, not to kill them… And as a man, to protect the mothers of my unborn children from the burden of abortion…

Men, our silence is a critical way that our culture marginalizes the tragedy of abortion as a “women’s issue.” That is one of the core strategies of the abortion industry. If they can keep abortion a “women’s issue,” then they can effectively stifle any real discussion about the issue of abortion. If abortion is a “women’s issue” then those who support abortion can argue that men who affirm the sanctity of the lives of the unborn are infringing on the rights of women. And, thereby, eliminate the right of any life-affirming men to engage with the issue… Men, the abortion industry wants us to do nothing. To remain silent. Do not allow evil to triumph. It is time for the fathers of aborted children to stand alongside the mothers of aborted children And BE SILENT NO MORE.”
Patrick 59

The man who had raped my wife took her security but I went a step beyond that. I had taken her child, her flesh, her blood.

“While I was away (with the Marines), she (my wife) was raped by an ex-boyfriend. He was caught but she was left pregnant by the attack. When she told me I was furious. I felt like my time overseas was for nothing. I had fought for my country and for my family’s freedom only to come back and learn that it had all been taken while I was away. My wife had a different attitude. She accepted her attack and the child that resulted from it. She expected me to support her decision and carry the child to term. I was selfish and I just wanted things to be the way they were before I left. I told her that she should abort the child for my sake. I said that it was unfair to me because the child that she carried wasn’t mine. Eventually she gave in and got the abortion.

I didn’t even drive her to the clinic. When she came home, she glared at me and cried. She wouldn’t even speak to me the rest of the day. What really made it hit home was when she told me that at least the baby was in heaven and away from the cruel world that caused it’s conception. When she said that I knew I had made a terrible mistake. I had led to a mother taking her child’s life. I felt like the lowest scum in the world. The man who had raped my wife took her security but I went a step beyond that. I had taken her child, her flesh, her blood…”
Anonymous 58

I mourn for the children I never knew.

“I lost two children to abortion when I was in high school. My heart turned stone cold after the second abortion. For the next several years I dealt with the pain through massive alcohol consumption. Truth is … I almost drank myself to death trying to ease the pain. Over 10 years ago I completed an abortion recovery Bible study called Healing a Fathers heart. It was one of the best investments of time I’ve ever made because it gave me the tools I needed to cope with my loss. But to this day I have nightmares of the experience… And I mourn for the children I never knew…”
Paul 57


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